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For Hagar said, “Do not let me look on the death of the child.” Genesis 21:6 Jesus said, “Those who find their life will lose it and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39
We are awash in fear – it’s all around us. It seeps into our homes and habits. I go to the grocery store and my husband, a retired inorganic bio-chemist who knows far more about germs and viruses than the average person, goes through his check-list – do you have your mask, your pocket size bottle of hand-sanitizer, your gloves, the shopping list organized by aisles. He loves me. He wants me to be safe. And while I know he’s right, my fear of COVID-19 grows with each question. Because deep down I know that we can do everything right and still bad things happen to good people.
It’s not just in a pandemic, but all of life. When my sons were infants, and the first time they slept through the night, I leapt out of bed, dashed to their cribs, fearful that something terrible had happened. I knew what had happened to other babies, other parents. So, we taught them not to talk to strangers, to stay close when in crowds, to play nice, to follow the rules, to listen to teachers and police, not drink and drive. We had “the talk” about the rules over and over again. When they drove off in the family car for the first time by themselves, we prayed they’d be safe. When they miss curfew, our fear grew with each passing minute and so did the repercussions.
As John and I were raising our sons, dear friends were also raising their sons. But because their sons are African Americans, there was a whole lot more to “the talk.” If stopped by the police, say “Yes, Sir, Yes, Mam.” Keep your hands high up on the steering wheel. Don’t make any sudden moves. If you need to reach into your back pocket to get your license, tell the officer what you are doing. Our friends had “The Talk” over and over again, because they knew their beautiful sons can do everything right and still die for busted tail-light or for jogging or playing with a squirt gun. Every time their sons leave the house, they pray for them to return alive. And when they are late and forget to call, they pray and pray filled with fear.
As was Hagar. She did everything right. She had no choice. She was a slave. When the Lord took too long to fulfill his promise of a baby for Abraham and Sarah, the woman took matters into her own hands. She gave Hagar to her husband. Hagar had no say. She was property. She did what she was told. When she conceived, Sarah abused her. Hagar ran away. An angel of the Lord found her, told her to go back to Sarah, to put up with the abuse, and that God was going to give her a big family beginning with a fine son, named Ishmael, meaning God hears. She goes back. Her son is born. Thirteen years later, Sarah finally gives birth to her son, Isaac. Then when Isaac was about three, Sarah demanded that Hagar and Ishmael be casted out. Again, Hagar had no say in the matter and only prayed that she did not have to watch her son die. God, heard the cries of both mother and son, came and cared for them. God promised Hagar that her son would become the father of a great nation. Our Muslim brothers and sisters, trace their ancestry through the prophet Mohammad back to Ishmael, Hagar’s beloved son.
In our Gospel today, God’s beloved Son, Jesus has “The Talk” with his disciples. He tells them you’re not going to be treated any better than I am. You’ll face arrests, beatings, opposition even from family members as well as hatred and persecution from others. Jesus names out loud the suffering that will be endured and in the naming, he frees them from the tenacious grip of fear. Don’t be afraid, he says over and over again. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t be silenced. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t fear those who can kill your body, because they can’t kill your soul. Hang on to me and I’ll hang on you! You can dare to speak truth to power because I am the way, the truth and the life. Jesus tells them, tells us, God loves you so much God know how many hairs there are on your head. Jesus is blunt because he knows the power of fear and how it can compromise even the strongest among us. When we are afraid, it can be so easy to do what we know is wrong instead of standing up for what is right.
I’ve experience this as a pastor in the pulpit – especially when preaching on this Gospel which every three years falls on Father’s Day. Today we hear that Jesus has come not to bring peace, but a sword, to set up a conflict between fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, and the in-laws too. Jesus is saying that our well-meaning family members can be our worst enemies. On the day Dad wants to take nap, watch a game, grill up some steaks and have a beer or two, Jesus has to ruin it all by telling us whoever loves his father, or her mother, and let’s add, their children, more than him, is not worthy of him. I have preached on this text many times, but only with retirement on the horizon, have I dared to be blunt about what our Lord and Savior is actually saying. And that is following Jesus is primary and it renders secondary all other claims upon us, even on Father’s Day.
Jesus is giving us the TALK. He begins by telling us that we will experience conflict. There will be times in our lives when our friends and even our families will want us to do something that denies the Gospel. It might be laughing at racist joke or taking an unfair advantage or just skimming a little off the top. All of it sets up a life and death choice and when it does, choice life. Next, Jesus says there’s a cost to discipleship. Following him will inevitably bring humiliation, suffering, shame, opposition, even death. We will lose our lives, our privileges, our status, and yet in doing so we discover that we actually find our lives, real life, resurrected life. We live by pure gift of grace. And finally, when faced with fear, we can recognize it for what it is and nothing more — the façade of human power, rooted in the threat of death which inevitably conflicts with the good news that God is present in the world, in mercy and compassion, present with us, just as God was present with Hagar and Ishmael. When we lose our lives fear no longer controls us for we are given new life now and forever.
What does this look like? A few weeks ago, in Phoenixville, it looked like a dozen or so high school students, mostly black, some Hispanic and a few white, working with their principal, the mayor and police chief, saying, “My life, my Black life, my Brown life, my life matters.” And then finding the discipline and courage to plan a rally, to make speeches in front of 2,000 people, to march, to love, to care. They’ve been given the talk and now they’re doing the talking. We would do well to listen. Amen.